urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dorky_doc mind_the_midget mind_the_midget 2003-08-20T16:36:17Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dorky_doc:945 2003-08-20T16:36:17Z 2003-08-20T16:36:17Z Harder To Breathe- Maroon 5 This is so stupid. i don't even know why i keep this thing around. i guess just in case i need someone to talk to. i don't really need someone to talk to right now...i wrote eliot an email last night cos i felt bad for having to go when he called. but i can't write in my notebooks anymore. i'm scared...especially of the book and the list. i dont' want to read them, i don't want to be reminded of all my problems with dan. things just...suck right now. but i'm not ready to leave him. i don't want to lose him, he means too effing much to me. and i don't even know who i'd be without him, you know? he's just as much a part of me as lacrosse or latin or writing or anything else i love. and i'm so used to being that chick who likes dan schultz that i don't know what i'd be if i didn't, you know? but then i wonder whether i'm just staying with him because i'm used to being with him or i'm used to liking him. but that can't be right because i do like him...love him. too much, in fact. i don't know what to do with myself, i'm effing insane. and this whole summer has been so fucked up. and now mom's gone...well, not GONE, per se. but gone enough to leave me alone with dad, who is a complete psycho and i hate being alone with him. i just don't know what to do with myself. and dan is one problem i just wish i didn't have right now, you know? i wish i could just get an attitude about it. i mean, i'm 15 years old. he's just a boy. there are more important things out there, aren't there? fuck yea. ughhhh, i'm such a walking contradiction. i'm either fighting a bundle of worries, choking down tears, or pretending things are fine. this isn't a way to live. and now i'm about to start school. how am i supposed to deal with this on top of work, lack of sleep, and no luch period. frickin A i am such a moron. i've overextended myself again. ughhhhhhhhh. what the hell am i supposed to do? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dorky_doc:750 2003-05-27T22:48:46Z 2003-05-27T22:48:46Z greetings from this side of tuesday. gawd i hate tuesdays. they serve no purpose whatsoever. did you ever notice that? monday is the first day of the week, always dreaded. wednesday is the middle of the week...thursday is aniticipation day- you spend all day waiting for friday. and friday is the first day of the weekend- FREEDOM. saturday is the ultimate day of freedom, sunday is the poisonous day of the weekend because you know monday is coming. so where's tuesday? nowhere. tuesdays just suck, okay? and i have oboe, which makes it twice as bad. arrrrgh. maybe i'll write again later tonight. no time for it now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dorky_doc:366 2003-05-27T02:59:13Z 2003-05-27T02:59:13Z First Kiss-New Found Glory shello. just figured this jon out because my blog is broked. i wanted a deadjournal, but this will have to do, i spose. i wish i could get away without having one of these junky things at all, but blogger has addicted me and now my notebooks alone are not good enough. jee-vus it is 11:52. i want to sleep, but i can't. school tomorrow :( blek. oboe lesson tomorrow- double blek. have i practiced? no. do i plan on it? no. will mr. i-wear-my-pants-up-to-my-armpits belzer yell at me>? yes. well, its time to be done here. toodles.